I confess that when I started this whole fiction-writing enterprise, I was a 27-year-old, newly married woman living in a fascinating foreign country who wasn't even sure if she wanted children. At least, not for a few years. The Japanese moms around me seemed to do nothing but cook and clean and oversee homework, and the U.S. Navy base moms, for the most part, were unable to explore Japan because they had needy little ones in tow. Looking around me, I concluded that once I had a baby in arms, I would never own my own time again. I would never be able to roll out of bed and head straight to the computer, where I would stay for as long as I darn pleased, breaking perhaps for a run, or shopping, or lunch with my husband — oh, those relaxed days.

My clock caught up with me in my late twenties, and I decided that even though writing was joyful, having a family would make life even better. Biological destiny led Tony and me toward adoption — a process so lengthy that by the time Pia was finally cleared to be our daughter, the first two Rei books were published, the third was in the editorial hopper, and I was at work on The Floating Girl — my darkest book — probably due to maternal anxiety and sleep deprivation!

I went to India at age 34 to bring home Pia — but government snafus kept me there three months, where I learned to care for her, while trying to work on finishing up The Floating Girl, during the naps. That's my first tip, for people with really young babies: work the naps! If you co-sleep with your child, this is even harder. I found that Pia became comfortable falling asleep in her own crib, in her own room — and that gave me between 3 and 5 hours daily to work — as long as I ignored housekeeping, cooking and laundry!

Of course, nap cycles shorten while our babies turn into delightful toddlers. I ran through a succession of college students who could cover me for the late afternoon. To me, this is cooking-dinner time, so as a result, I got less done than before. If you wonder why there was a gap in my publication cycle between The Bride's Kimono (2001) and The Samurai's Daughter (2003), now you know the reason. Also, because I felt hesitant to travel to Japan without my child — yet feared that if I brought her, she wouldn't enjoy it, and I would get nothing done — I decided to set some of Rei's adventures closer to home. The Samurai's Daughter takes place in San Francisco, where I traveled with 2-year-old Pia, my mother, and had my sister there to help. The Bride's Kimono and The Pearl Diver are based in Washington, D.C., an easy day trip for me from Baltimore. Some of my readers have enjoyed the U.S. settings, while others have missed Japan — my own personal reality is that I missed Japan, a lot. But my children needed me more than I needed to go to Tokyo, at least for the first few years. And the U.S. books have allowed Rei's character to grow and deepen. She's begun to examine her own feelings about children, committed romantic relationships, and the like.

When Baby Neel arrived in our lives, Pia was four and no longer napping. I knew I needed help — all day, workweek help, if I wanted to write regularly and also do occasional travel to sign books around the country. So with a lot of anxiety, I signed on with a national au pair agency. The result was a wonderful time with two Thais, one Brazilian and one Swede who widened the children's horizons and were like girlfriends to me. Now that Neel's heading into all-day kindergarten, I no longer have au pairs and use the schoolday for writing.

Putting your writing schedule behind your child's needs is an understandable and worthwhile decision. Even if you have to wait a while to write, you can still keep up your reading. If you join a group like Sisters in Crime, you might find you grow in terms of your desire to work, and your understanding of how the publishing process works. You can also use the pre-waking hours to write. I have gotten up to write from 5-7 AM many times, and I still do it.

That said, getting child care help, from professionals or family members, is tremendously liberating, and probably crucial if you are on a schedule similar to mine that includes writing a book a year and making speaking engagements all around the country. Paying for child care forced me to value my writing time more. Now I produce roughly four times the amount of work per day than I did in the old days. I also write outside of the home now, at a coffee shop. A morning spent here with a comforting, low roar of good music around me is such a delight, and the siren call of the laundry, or the stove, does not trouble me. I return home renewed and ready to be Mom again, because my inner demons have been satisfied — and finally, I'm able to meet my deadlines again!

The Baroness P.D. James, one of my favorite mystery novelists, once said that for every child you have, you lose five books that you might have written. But of course, she still wrote — and every book she wrote was worth it, to me, as her reader.

Just something to think about the next time you're folding laundry!

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All content © 1998-2008 Sujata Massey.
Photo of Sujata at top of page by Jim Burger. Mug of tea photo by Ernest von Rosen, amgmedia.com.